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Still at it, after all of these years.

Years have flown by. I still project at night, maybe once a week. I often ask to do a retrieval. When I do, I often use my lift the world up technique. Sometimes, it goes without a hitch. Sometimes, the ground gets a little shaky and throws a few people off.

My brother and Dad passed away last year at different times. While I’ve seen both a little There, surprisingly, it has not been frequent. I suspect they have moved on to levels that I cannot reach – and they did it fairly quickly. I tried an experiment with my Mom and trying to find out the name of my Dad’s car by asking him There, but I failed to pick out the right name despite what I thought were visits with him.

Does this shake my faith in the validity of my experiences? Not really. But I am disappointed as it would’ve added to the proof I’ve collected over the years. Interestingly, the best proof I got with my brother, was from a fellow projector friend. The words and ideas she picked out were impossible to know and very personal. Even my Mom, who is a skeptic, found it convincing.

One thing I’ve learned is that everywhere I can explore in the spirit world is malleable. One way to think of it is like multiplayer creative Minecraft. Even the heaven plane can be changed with my mind. One of the biggest drawbacks for me is that I cannot read text there, because I change it. I regret that when it’s my turn to go, I will not be able to read anything There. Interestingly, I am good at destroying, not nearly as well-versed at creating. Perhaps that’s a skill I could work on There.

Exhausting group retrieval using a new method

Last night, I became aware I was dreaming found myself falling (a tell-tale sign of a retrieval). I landed and slowly became aware of a wide expanse with people everywhere. I immediately decided this would be group “lift up” retrieval but in order to get the most traction I decided to do something new. As I intentioned to lift up the scene, I slowly rotated clockwise to imagine as much as possible lifting up. I noticed that this procedure avoided the rotation like motion that often happens when I lift the scene up. Also, i found the procedure very difficult and thought to myself this is “too hard.”

After about three or four scene changes, I end up in the mental plane and I’m immediately greeted by helpers. One of them tells me I retrieved 80 people but there were still 3000 people left.
This shocked me. There was that many people to retrieve? Also, after this grueling experience they were basically saying I failed.

I asked “Don’t I have the world-record for group retrievals?” Another helper replied that there were people known as “Walkers” that can do more. They also said I need to work on my stability (as a lot of people “fall off” as I lift up the scene)

I awoke moments with my daughter trying to get my attention. Later, I looked up “Walkers” and “Spirit Walkers.” The best definition I can find is that in the Native American tradition, the specialization of spirit walker are those that go into the spirit world to communicate with spirit guides and get advice to bring back to the community.

Looking back at the experience, I think I did a pretty good job given my current expertise level. Normally, I’ve been only successful with indoor scenes and this one was completely outdoors at least at first. The rotation method which I had never used before was effective in my estimation in both grabbing a lot of real estate and in not inducing the “spin” that often plagues my “lift up” retrievals. What I’m not sure about is how to deal with the exhaustion this experience gave me but I think it’s partly to do with my general state of mind these days.

Our ultimate home – the soul

Last night’s experience reminded once again that, just as we borrow the Earth’s atoms to be who we are in the physical world, we also borrow our soul’s “atoms” to be the individual spirit we are today.

In my experience last night, I lifted a group of spirits through the astral sub-planes. While this is happening, I struck up a short conversation with an Asian woman. I noted how interesting it was that we could talk to each other in the spirit world, when I wouldn’t have understood her language in the real world. Quite suddenly, she disappeared, and re-appeared as a young Asian-looking man. The man introduced himself and then walked away.

What I had witnessed was the integration of a personality – a past-life, with a larger entity we often call the Soul.

People often ask the question: “Is there life after death?” The answer is nuanced. On the one hand, our personhood is independent for a time, and its memories are stored safely on our Soul’s “hard drive.” On the other hand, at some point, we re-integrate with our Soul. In doing so, the individual we are today disappears forever as a separate entity. Some people call this the phenomenon “second death.”

If there’s one thing to glean from this message, it is this… try to find your Soul, while you are still an individual human. This will be your home some day, or better yet, this will be who you will become.

World Peace

Around this time of year, one of the common things we think and talk about is world peace. How ironic is it that we are also reunited with friends and family, and all of the resentment built up over a lifetime is often released during these times.

I don’t have any solutions on how to move towards peace, but I have some observations.

1) Even siblings fight one another over resources and turf. So, in that sense, even if the world were one homogenized community sharing the same beliefs, we still would fight.

2) Humanity is where it is today through two competing forces: competition and cooperation. Competition: the strongest tribes survives, the vanquished tribes disappeared or were assimilates. Cooperation: the tribes where people worked together for survival (and defeating enemies) survived over the groups of people where every man was an island.

3) Even if we could achieve some amount of parity in resource allocation amongst peoples, our instincts for competition will always be encoded in our genetics. Perhaps, outlets like sports provide safe release valve of the urges.

4) Most of us want to “just get along.” But, there are rabble-rousers in our midst. I call them “empire builders.” These are people within our population that have long served a critical purpose towards the survival of tribes. Empire builders often start from humble beginnings and climb the ranks building their “armies” and defeating their detractors. They are natural leaders. Sometimes they remain humble and work towards the bigger picture. Sometimes they are motivated by their own insecurities and desire for attention and power. In either case, as they build their armies, they polarize people, and unite them under one flag. Ultimately, to gain power, they fight – cause wars. They turn ordinary people like us – who normally want to just get along – into warriors or advocates of their conquering efforts.

As I said from the outset, I don’t have any solutions. What I wanted to do though was try to offer some opinions as to why we don’t have world peace today. Here’s some questions we can ask ourselves:

– How do we keep the empire builders at bay before they lead their march of destruction?
– How do we avoid the allure of these people without putting our own lives/livelihoods at risk?
– How do we create an education/environment, where people no longer are convinced by the devious arguments of the builders?
– How do we keep our competitive nature at bay – or at least in a safe space?
– What can we do as individuals to heal the fissures of past battles/wars so as not to breed new ones?

Best of luck in your endeavors, as I always like to tell people.

If life is an illusion…

It is often thought that once we become aware that the world is an illusion, we should detach from it – perhaps eventually reach “Nirvana.”

I do not ascribe to this belief. I believe life is to be lived. There is plenty of time to detach when we are not incarnate.

I do agree that life is an illusion. But, certain things are real. Pain is real. So is joy. The souls behind everybody you know are real. Feeling is real – most certainly to the body experiencing it. Sure we can detach from these feelings – but only after we listen for awhile. For if we completely ignore the suffering of our bodies then we are not honoring the vessel that carries us.

What is the purpose of life? People who experience near-death experiences report two things: To learn and To love. Physical life is immensely interesting. It is complex, difficult, and beautiful. There is a lot to learn Here. Love is something we are born with but is hard to express when there’s so much confusion and sorrow. When we can love our greatest enemy, then we have mastered Love.

Hyperactivity at the Retail Store

This morning I became lucid, and asked to do a retrieval. As I fell back into a tunnel, I remember touching the tunnel to see what it felt like. Clumpy? Like globs of dirt. When I landed I was in complete darkness. I commanded for some light, but the best I could get were these laser lights shining a little bit off of the ground. I could not find anyone. I then found myself in my parents’ home.

I went outside and noticed some commotion to the left. I proceeded into something like a Walmart or Target. People were moving around quickly. Some of them were coming at me and I felt like I had to defend myself with thought missives. I realized that to help these people I needed to avoid attention and pick up the scene.

I proceeded to imagine the whole store lifting up into the subplanes. After about a minute, the store had moved into an “outdoors” subplane. The people had calmed down and collected together.

While I’m sure I didn’t reach F21/the heaven plane, I felt like I did enough. Also, I’ve learned from experience to avoid lifting outdoors scenes – things tend to get haywire.

I celebrated by myself about my achievement, and heard an interesting rock song that had the words “Earth Below.” Unfortunately, I didn’t record the song after I woke up.

Sneaky Retrieval

This morning as I became lucid, I noticed an entity hugging me from behind. I could not see the man’s face. He had a bit of an accent. I asked his name and got the cryptic “Mephangeles,” which I probably mis-heard. He seemed to think he had grabbed onto someone I know. His grip was tight, and I could not easily release him. In retrospect, I could have mentally envisioned some sort of painful device on him, but instead, I had a different idea.

I slowly lifted myself and him through the astral planes. I even told him about the astral as I did this. He told me had been dead for about 10 years – and that his life ended incompletely. I sensed him to be a young adult who had just finished or didn’t quite finish college. We continued to ascend through subplanes. Indoor subplanes to outdoor ones, finally back to large indoor ones.

Finally, I gazed upward towards “the light” and he released with a yell. Apparently, his soul’s “attractor beam” caught hold, and he was none too pleased with his ascension.

I managed to pull myself through to the mental plane, hoping to get an eye on his arrival. Instead, I found myself in a bustling hallway. I felt in need of help. Help, perhaps, of clearing energy stuck to me from him and I called out. Eventually, a woman showed up to discuss my concerns. I realized that the supposed energy stuck to me was nothing more than the buffering layer between the astral and mental wrapped around my body like Saran wrap. I woke up soon after noticing I was quite embedded under my blankets. I wondered if the sensation of the blankets was the cause of the “wrapping” feeling or it was a coincidence.

Only after being awake, did I realize I could have fended this person off from the get go, but I took the gentler and more productive approach. I was proud of myself for doing that. I have found that my response to these so-called violent spirits in the last few months have been met by my own violence rather than alternate, more peaceful means, of achieving the goal – of getting these spirits back to their Mothership/soul. My violent tactics only seemed to scare them off.

The story of me – a mystical explorer

I’ve always had a terrible fear of death.

My earliest memories regarding death, were thinking about how I wouldn’t be able to take my stuffed animals with me to heaven at around 5 years old. Later on, as I would fall asleep at night I would ponder the thought of how life was finite and then I would be nothing… perhaps for eternity. This freaked me out often and would keep me up at night.

In my mid-twenties, I got something called “serotonin syndrome” for about two weeks from taking two anti-depressants at the same time. The fear that seemed to emerge was my fear of death and it literally plagued me night and day. My only respite was going to sleep. It was during that time, I asked the questio “Why do anything or learn anything when all that would be for naught some day?”

Fast forward a few years, I’m sitting in my new apartment in San Diego, watching TV, when I came across a show called “Crossing Over with John Edward” I was stunned. Someone was actually receiving messages from the beyond? And more importantly, there was a beyond? I immediately went to the bookstore and purchased Edward’s only book at the time called “One More Time.” I read it from cover to cover in no time flat and was most intrigued when he received messages involuntarily.

At the end of Edward’s book was a guided meditation that anyone could try where you might get contact with your deceased love ones. I tried it. I felt as though I was being visited by my late aunt, but it was only a feeling/hunch. I was intrigued.

I came up for three possibilities: 1) Edward was a con artist, fooling people into thinking that the afterlife was real and that he could get messages. 2) Edward really believed he could “speak with the dead” but was essentially deluding himself with lucky guesses. 3) Edward was telling the truth and the afterlife was real. Based on the evidence at hand: his book and my experience with his guided meditation I decided that 3) was the simplest and most accurate explanation.

I then looked up psychics/mediums and life after death on the internet, and one of the first things I came across was a free e-book from a fellow named Robert Peterson on something called “out-of-body experiences.” It seemed too good to be true, I could practice a series of exercises and see the afterlife/or at least my soul nature by myself.

I kept a journal of my OBE practices as Peterson recommended and tried out many of his exercises. The first month was slow going. I had maybe one or two out of the ordinary sensations or “dreams.” At first I felt that I was getting nowhere, but the fact that I could look back at my diary and see some events was very encouraging. So, I kept practicing. Nothing major would happen during the guided meditations with the exception of feeling like my legs were floating in the air. But, it’s what happened after that was amazing.

I had programmed my subconscious to really want to project and I found that as I would wake up in the morning or in the middle of the night, I would recognize that I was, in fact, “body asleep, mind awake.” I also would have dreams that I was projecting even though I didn’t know what it would really be like.

One night, I found myself in that “body asleep” mode, and I willed myself out of my body and immediately found myself deep in my dark closet. It was spooky dark but when I woke up I thought “wow!” A few nights later, I found myself sitting on my bed and a fellow named Will was sitting beside me. He stood up and beamed some sort of energy into my head. He then took my hand and led me flying out of the window into this bizarre green forest. He soon disappeared and I found myself alone, shouting his name for help.

In the next few months, I had my first out of body experiences. I remember one where I was stuck to the wall socket and I couldn’t hear anything in the room, but an unknown rock song played in my head. In other experiences, I made it outside my room into the living room/kitchen area. Some of the experiences almost led immediately to “somewhere else” which I didn’t recognize. Many had me in my room from childhood, which I thought was very odd. It turns out this was my “astral home.”

At times I would see other spirits and ask them questions. They didn’t seem that knowledgeable but it was interesting anyway. All the while, I started reading other books about OBEs including Robert Monroe’s trilogy. I also read fairly early on a book called Journey of Souls, which was written by a psychotherapist who regressed people hypnotically not just to previous lives but also to the life between lives. I was intrigued and wondered whether I could see similar things in the astral.

A breakthrough for me occurred when I started reading the books of Bruce Moen. Moen attended week-long workshops at the Monroe Institute where they would spend several hours a day in dark bed units listening to binaural sounds through headphones. The sounds were supposed to induce adventures into the spirit world. While I could already do this myself with the practice I learned, what caught my attention was something called “retrievals.”

Retrievals occur when a living person assists a spirit stuck in the astral move to higher vibrational realms. Basically, you ask to do a retrieval, find yourself transported to a new scene with a single person. You would talk to that person, and after awhile a helper would appear who would then escort that person to a higher vibration.

I asked for retrievals while I was out of body, and sure enough, my requests were granted. I found it very exciting help people out. Not to mention, it involved me being transported deep into the astral.


One of the things I read about in both Monroe’s and Moen’s books was a placed called Focus 27. I interpreted this realm as being the higher vibration place that helpers were taking spirits. I tried to reach this realm myself but found it exceedingly difficult. So one night, after finishing my part of a retrieval, I asked the helper if they could take me also into the higher realm. He wrapped his arms around me, and I felt this incredible surge of happiness.

Next thing I knew I was in a new territory. The colors were brighter, the details richer and the air breezy and cool. My time in this higher realm didn’t last, but I kept attempting to get there every chance I had out-of-body. I found the place to very refreshing and full of energy. I also noticed that here, spirits communicate telepathically, and not by talking. In other words, it sounded like they were talking directly in my head.

I felt that this new realm was where spirit guides lived. So I often asked for mine. A few times I was granted visits to a woman who I interpreted as my soul guide. The soul guide in Journey of Souls, is sort of the person that looks after you life after life until you “grow up” and start guiding souls of your own. One thing I noticed about my guide is she spoke with incredible brevity and assertiveness. It was as though she knew I wouldn’t remember much and therefore it was imperative that she keep the message short and to the point. The messages were often warnings of what not do.

One thing I was curious about was where my soul was in the scheme of soul development. I thought that since my favorite color was blue, that I was an advanced soul. I was disappointed to find that when I asked the question, I saw the color yellow, which would put me as “junior” guide. This meant I still have many lives to go, but it also means I have young souls under my wing.

The next obvious question was “who were my young students?” Well, I asked for them, and within 30 seconds, I found about 15 souls lining up around me, as though they were all ready for my lesson. I recalled I used to go on and on about something and the souls would slowly get up and leave. I also requested “1 on 1” meetups with souls and I found this more gratifying. They would come to me with fairly simple questions of morality for which I could easily offer answers.

Back to retrievals, I have always enjoyed doing them. A lot of people like me will do them for a time, and then get bored. I haven’t yet after 12 years. In fact, I like to claim that I have probably retrieved more people than anyone else has ever done in one life. My retrievals in the last few years have gotten quite
fancy in that I now do group retrievals, where I help many spirits at a time move up to higher realms. In addition, I developed a technique whereby I transport the entire scene (spirits and all) into a higher vibration. I don’t always succeed doing this but when I do, it’s an impressive feat. I one time was awarded (perhaps jokingly by the helpers) the designation of making the largest retrieval ever made by a living person.

One thing that has emerged recently in my retrievals is that I was told I have reached the highest level certification for retrievals where I will have to deal with the hardest cases. So far, these seem to include retrievals of very violent spirits.

All in all, I’m very proud of what I’ve done, even though few people will ever believe me Here (at least while I’m alive) I’ve hoped perhaps to write a book or something to leave behind a legacy that future generations will dig up and go “He was doing this stuff before anyone believed it even existed.” But, I guess that’s vanity, so I haven’t really tried. The other thing is that it is surprising that despite all of my spiritual adventures, I’m still the same person I have always been. Same strengths, same weaknesses.

Promoted to Tier 1

This morning I realized I was having a very long dream and decided to do a retrieval. I ended up in a room filled with people. I felt like the best method was to lift up the room. After what seemed like a shorter than normal time, I heard an applause. I looked around and saw 4 or 5 helpers. One walked in said he had some news. I begged to know what he was going to say. One of the female helpers said “You have a remarkable life. You’ve been upgraded to Tier 1 retrievals” which I assume are the most difficult retrievals of all. I’m curious what could be more difficult than what I’ve dealt with so far, although I imagine it could involve some “Hell-like” scenes or people that are very hard to convince to move on because of their beliefs.

I joked that I might be back if I failed to make it in “Tier 1.” They all smiled at me.

A fellow projector?

This morning during a lucid dream, I requested a retrieval and fell for a bit. This time it looked like someone had carried me in a tiny scene down. I quickly find myself in an auditorium with what seemed like 50 people. I begin to raise the room, and almost immediately hear the whir that I’ve heard before when I perform this trick.

There’s a guy beside me who asks “Where did you learn this?” I didn’t have a good answer. Its a technique I’ve developed over awhile and I originally used to wreak havoc with my ability to modify scenes. He walks out with me after we reach the “destination” He turns from a Caucasian into an African-American. I see that he’s struggling to remain conscious. I take this to mean, he’s a projector like me. I ask him his name: Will. He mentions the years 1977-1982. A location in Southern California and he even gives his address which I can’t remember.  At the time I thought for sure I would be able to figure out his name when I work up and contact him. But alas, my name recall fails me again.

BTW, this is the second time in as may retrievals that I’ve been accompanied by someone else, presumably a living projector. I feel like if events like this continue, it’s only a matter of time that I make some sort of real-world validation out of these encounters.